Thursday, April 17, 2014

Anxiety

Boo is a highly anxious child. He has therapy at school to help with his high anxiety and most of it is separation anxiety. Unlike some, I've never lived with his Dad. We've always had a long distance relationship and for the first four years of his life, Boo never spent the night at his Dad's without me. Then things went sideways and the current custody schedule with week/weeks at a time at Dad's without Mom hit.. then he started school.. then we moved. Each year since he turned 4, something has happened that decreased the amount of time he spends with me. While I, as an adult, understand that this is the natural progression of growing up, Boo, as a highly anxious kid to begin with, feels like the separation is to long and what if Mommy doesn't come!

I have always tried to reassure him that Mommy always comes to get him. Yes, he goes away, to school, to after school care, to his Dad's, etc. But Mommy always comes and gets him. She has and will never abandon him and will always be there. And until this last trip that was 100% true.. then spring break hit. I was supposed to pick him up at the end of the first week of spring break. On my way to get him, I had that awful, back exploding, unbearable, unmistakable pain of a kidney stone attack during my drive. I tried.. oh how I tried.. but eventually I started shaking and vomiting and could drive no longer. I pulled over, called my parents, called my ex and checked into a hospital. Now I have a FANTASTIC family.. seriously.. they all got up early on their Sunday morning and rallied quickly. My brother and his wife went to get Boo, my dad and his dad came to get me, my mom and my grandma stayed to hold down the fort in case Boo beat me back. As emergency situations go, things went very smoothly!

When Boo first got back, he had a lot of fun with my brother/sister-in-law. They took the scenic route and bought him super sweet binoculars. He said he was great and asked how I was and snuggled for a bit then went to bed. Everything seemed fine. Then a few days later, he was crying in bed and I asked him what was wrong. He said he was so scared something was going to happen to me. He does this sometimes, and I reassured him that I was going to be fine, nothing would happen.

Yet, for the first time ever, he was able to look at me and rebuttal it could since it just did. I couldn't come get him because I was in the hospital and he was so scared and it was not what he was expecting and plans changed. Must admit, took me a second to catch up. He caught me.. I'm not invincible! Drat. This led to his fear that he will be alone if something happens to me since we don't live with grandma/grandpa anymore. It was a late night, but we talked and it seemed to help. I wish I knew how to help him with his anxiety.

What about my readers, any tips you've found that help relieve anxiety?

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