Saturday, February 8, 2014

Be the Best Parent You Can Be

Be the best parent YOU can be.. not the best parent your friend can be, not the best parent your sister can be, not the best parent your mom was, but be the best YOU can be. Today I saw a quote by Mr. Rogers:
"Parents can set the example by just being themselves rather than trying to be perfect." 
That is one aspect of parenting I have always struggled with. I look at my life and start comparing it to all of the plethora of fantastic mother's I know lives. Mine always falls short. I can see dozens of ways that I completely fail as a mom. I want to be the Mom who makes all these amazing, delicious homemade snacks, who creates artistic presents and projects, who doesn't lose her temper on occasion and yell back, who volunteers at various kids organizations, who is always composed, who has a perfect house, who likes hearing the same 2 lines of a song being sung over and over and over and over and over and over...... ok I don't think any Mom actually likes that last one..

Then quotes like the one above come along and I stop and remember I'm ME.. and I'M King Boo's Mom.. no one else! It doesn't matter if I'm not perfect, or as awesome as my friends, I'm still HIS Mom and he loves me. I do the best I can at any given moment, some days I am winning at parenting and some days I am failing. But I am the best parent I can be in those moments! Does that mean I don't want to improve? Of course not, but it is comforting to know that he still loves me even when I mess up and that messing up is not necessarily a bad thing.

I have noticed how he struggles with some of the same things I struggle with, like transition and disappointment issues. His take on the form of thinking he would get a toy at Target and then me telling he he would not, resulting in an epic meltdown... where mine are more like thinking the whole family will go ice skating and everyone poopoo'ing the idea and me shutting down and getting all moody. But they are the same root cause, we had a map in our head of how we thought things would happen and a detour was presented that was not planned or desired and it has thrown our world into chaos. So when I start struggling with things that I know he also struggles with I have tried to no longer suffer quietly but to explain to him how I am struggling and what I am doing to cope with it. Even if it is a simple, you know you got frustrated when X happened? Well Mommy is frustrated about Y and just needs a little quiet time to calm her mind down. I don't know if it's helping, he still goes straight to crying and screaming when frustrated, but maybe it is planting a seed.

2 comments:

  1. I remember that I was a perfect parent until I had children! It all seems so easy until you actually have kids. Parenting is not for the faint of heart! Take courage, you are a great mom!

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